10:30 Monday evening, May 9, 2005...I was 19, and due in 10 days, I can't sleep because I have cramps, they come and go, I start timing them, hardly believing that its actually happening...not even sure what is in store for me in the next 24 hours. Not wanting to wake anyone up I continue to time contractions, I think they are contractions, and eventually fall asleep, up again and again throughout the night, completely exhausted by 6 am, when I finally get up to bring my babies dad to work. After walking around a bit and getting dressed, we decide that its better for my mom to drive. On the way back we happen to be stopped at a red light right next to my best friend and invite her over for breakfast. After some tea and a sandwich I go to the doctors office, of course there is over an hour wait, so we go back home. At around 10:30 we head back, I'm 3-4cm dilated, so I'm told to head straight to the hospital. Well we head back home, back my bag that wasn't packed ahead of time, goof around for about an hour, take a few pictures and head to the hospital. Now my memories of the hospital are a little vague, so here's what I remember to the best of my knowledge.
After arriving at the hospital I get put into some sexy lingerie, and put in a bed, where most of the time was spent, I am hooked up to a few machines, and my belly strapped down by a monitor. While this is all going on I have contractions, apparently I sound like a dying goat, yeah that's hot! Well after some time I get Demerol, which as far as I'm concerned only contorts my thumbs in such a why I look like I have a disability. Lets add to that the laughing gas, at first its addicting, breathing in as much as I can, making honking noises much to the amusement of those around me, but soon its more work to suck in the air and I hit away the mask, gasping for air. The doctor places the mask back on, and I swat it off again, we do this for a while. Until its time to push.
Now to those who haven't been through labor, imagine the worst menstrual cramps ever times 10, and it comes in waves, starting at the top hardening the belly as the waves rolls down, the pressure down feels like your carrying bricks and your pelvis doesn't feel strong enough to hold it in any longer. You feel the urge to push, its urge you can't resist, like trying to breath while pinching your nose closed, no matter how much you try to relax and control it, you push, holding your breath, and tuning everything else out. The nurses try different positions, a birthing stool, and eventually I end up back on the bed. Mostly I remember my best friend, at this point she has been trapped by the doctor and nurses, patting my forehead with a cold cloth saying "oh michaelly, oh michaelly" Again I don't remember all the details, but after a few more pushes, the last being both satisfying and excruciatingly painful, his head is out, well the rest is barely a feat after that. Its 4:51, Monday, May 10, 2005. And after months of feeling full, movement, and never feeling alone, you feel empty. Almost instantly you don't feel any contractions, its so peaceful and serine.
I look on as they check out my baby boy, my first look at him is somewhat at a distance, hes under the heat lamp and pretty quiet. I'm getting stitched up. They wrap him up and bring him over, I get to hold him...I'm a mom. Examining his little face, his wide nose, big lips, and checking to see if he has all his fingers and toes...I made this prefect little person...my little man.
Monday, 21 May 2012
For all those single kid moms out there, you might think its hard to shop with your kid in tote...its not...once you have shopped with 3, shopping with one is a walk in the park. Shopping alone is now a vacation, I look forward to it, I stroll through, taking my time and enjoying the time off, yeah I am going to squeeze every loaf of bread instead of grabbing the closest one, I might price compare, and usually end up getting everything on the list, instead of bailing half way through because you think you might actually throw your own temper tantrum right there in the cereal isle...Shopping with 1 kid is enjoyable, you can treat them if they behave, and you can still contain them when they miss behave, while getting your groceries. 2 kids start presenting a issue, if one misbehaves you can still handle it, if both start misbehaving people start staring, but the fearless (ultimately frustrated) mother you are, you press on, with a "this too shall pass" chant. Now for shopping with 3, your completely out numbered, and they have started a pack mentality, most shopping carts have one seat, some 2, at least one is running around like the feral child they are. You grab the basics, not looking at nutritional value, just bang for your buck, and hope that when you're home you can slop together an acceptable meal. A daycare in your local grocery store...just a thought!
Tuesday, 15 May 2012
Every night my kids go to bed, around the same time, every night they need to brush their teeth, and every night they have to put on pj's. Sounds simple right? Why is it that every night it's a complete surprise?!? "what? its bedtime? that's NEVER happened before!" They always try every trick in the book of course, "I need this specific toy that I haven't played with in a month, RIGHT NOW!, A glass of water, bathroom, lights on, this blanket, and of course 'the sun is still out'" But once you give them their good night kisses, and "squeeze hugs" and they lay their heads down on those pillows, they are the cutest sweetest things, and you want 5 more minutes with them. (don't worry you will get them, as soon as you walk down the flight of stairs, just as you sit down they will need something again) ... and repeat!
After surviving the winter with hardly a sniffle my son decides to get sick now, it is in the mid 20s, beautiful weather and here he is glassy eyed, snotty, coughing to the point of gagging, and pale (which in its self is a feat!) Normally a very healthy little guy I can count on one hand the times I've seen him this sick, not bad for 7 years. I guess 2 days home is not as bad as I thought considering. Now all that would send any mom into "nurse mom" overdrive, as a single mom I am now also thinking about what will happen at work, calling in sick 2 days in a row is never good, and I can't trade off days with my other half...Well lots of liquids and keeping warm, at least I get to spend the day with my handsome man...at about a 5 foot distance!